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  1. dan5

    What Does Pret A Manger Mean? Is It Upmarket?

    by dan5 in Offtopic ChatAug 5, 2017 with 5 replies and 45 views.

    So, Pret maybe coming to Ipswich and might be at the Grimwades building on the corner of the Cornhill.Excuse the romanised version using only the Latin alphabet characters. What does Pret a Manger mean? Pret a Manger is french for "ready to eat". The story goes it was inspired by a clothing brand called Pret a Porter ("ready to wear"). Pret is also Romanian for "price". If we can trust Google Translate... "hosts" in Albanian, "fun" in...

    Latest reply: Well, Realise Futures has a big turnover, effectively making money out of disabled people. It is a newish organisation that is pretty bloated. A lot of money falling into a few peoples hands. Were they booted out? I was surprised how they were...

  2. ‘I’m not ogling the breasts in Game of Thrones’, insists middle-aged manA middle-aged man insists he is gripped by the story in Game of Thrones – and in no way watches simply to ogle at beautiful women’s breasts. Jonathan Smith, 51, says he is enjoying the hit television series because he has always been a fan of dragons “and stuff like that”. But his long-suffering wife, The post ‘I’m not ogling the breasts in Game of Thrones’, insists...

  3. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Woman Uses Just For Men Hair Product, Grows Beard

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 19, 2017 at 2:08 PM with 0 replies and 7 views.

    Woman uses Just For Men hair product, grows beardA woman who foolishly used Just For Men hair dye product ended up growing a beard, it has emerged. Daisy Spuckler, from Downham Market in Norfolk, ignored strict instructions that the product to remove grey hairs was for men only. She popped into her local chemist and purchased a bottle of Just For Men hair The post Woman uses Just For Men hair product, grows beard appeared first on Suffolk...

  4. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Wife Whose Hubbie Had Vasectomy Says Travel Jab Made Her Pregnant

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 12, 2017 with 0 replies and 11 views.

    Wife whose hubbie had vasectomy says travel jab made her pregnantBy Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent A woman whose husband had a vasectomy seven years ago claims a travel vaccination has made her pregnant. Chevaunne Smith, 38, from Norwich, Norfolk is four months pregnant and insists the injection at her local surgery must have been contaminated in some way. She and her husband, Dominic are now The post Wife whose hubbie had vasectomy says...

  5. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Suffolk Electrician Fined For Refusing To Use Green And Yellow Wire

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 7, 2017 with 0 replies and 15 views.

    Suffolk electrician fined for refusing to use green and yellow wireBy Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent An electrician who refused to use green and yellow earthing wire because it reminded him of Norwich City has been fined. John Sarjeant, from Hollesley, appeared at Ipswich magistrates charged with breaching health and safety regulations by failing to make appliances safe. The life-long Ipswich Town supporter admitted he never The post...

  6. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Stay-away Ipswich Fan Secretly Annoyed By Great Start To Season

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 19, 2017 at 2:07 AM with 0 replies and 6 views.

    Stay-away Ipswich fan secretly annoyed by great start to seasonAn Ipswich fan has privately admitted that he’s disappointed by Town’s promising start to the new season, after refusing to re-new his season ticket. Raymond Stubbs – who had previously attended every home game at Portman Road for the past 20 seasons – surrendered his seat citing the ‘stubborn’ nature of Blues boss Mick McCarthy. The post Stay-away Ipswich fan secretly annoyed...

  7. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Slow Yew Down, Bor

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 8, 2017 with 0 replies and 12 views.

    Slow yew down, borBy Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent Villages across Norfolk have been forced to spend a small fortune on new road signs so that locals can understand them. The road signs are written in the backward local language so that Norfolk people can tell if they are going too fast. They are cropping up all over the The post Slow yew down, bor appeared first on Suffolk Gazette. Related StoriesNorfolk Police check dental...

  8. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Shock As Famous Cabbage Sprinter Fails To Win Last Race

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 7, 2017 with 0 replies and 10 views.

    Shock as famous cabbage sprinter fails to win last raceA sell-out crowd and huge television audience were left disappointed last night when East Anglia’s greatest cabbage sprinter failed to win his last race before retirement. Anticipation was sky-high that Hussain Holt would add one final world title to add to his astonishing eight cabbage-sprinting Olympic golds. Cabbage sprinting is a traditional East Anglian sport The post Shock as...

  9. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Seagull Rips Off Man’s Testicle As He Sunbathes Naked

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 8, 2017 with 0 replies and 57 views.

    Seagull rips off man’s testicle as he sunbathes nakedA rogue seagull ripped off a man’s right testicle as he sunbathed naked in his back garden, it has emerged. Experts say the fearsome bird mistook the man’s exposed privates as a couple of birds eggs and dropped in for a tasty snack. As the man – who has not been named – dozed on The post Seagull rips off man’s testicle as he sunbathes naked appeared first on Suffolk Gazette....

  10. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Powdered Water To Change Our Lives Forever

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 16, 2017 with 0 replies and 7 views.

    Powdered water to change our lives foreverA Suffolk company has launched a brilliant powdered water product that could revolutionise the way we drink. Instead of lugging heavy bottles of water about, you now only need a small sachet of the special powdered water which weighs hardly anything at all. Simply add water to the H2-ooh Powder, stir and you’ll enjoy a The post Powdered water to change our lives forever appeared first on Suffolk...

  11. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Police Chase Stolen Combine Harvester For Five Miles, Slowly

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 7, 2017 with 0 replies and 24 views.

    Police chase stolen combine harvester for five miles, slowlyBy Rob Banks, Crime Editor A thief stole a combine harvester and led police on the slowest five-mile chase on record, it has emerged. The sneaky criminal struck while farm workers in Stanton, Suffolk were on a break from the wheat harvest. He climbed in the cockpit and sped off at 6mph as farm labourers The post Police chase stolen combine harvester for five miles, slowly appeared...

  12. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Orwell Bridge To Be Closed Weekly For Livestock Crossing

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 11, 2017 with 2 replies and 34 views.

    Orwell Bridge to be closed weekly for livestock crossingThe discovery of an ancient bylaw means the Orwell Bridge will be closed every Wednesday morning to allow local livestock to cross, it has been revealed. Police say the three-hour closure is likely to cause traffic chaos in and around Ipswich every week, but the move is unavoidable as they must enforce the law. Local The post Orwell Bridge to be closed weekly for livestock crossing...

    Latest reply: Sorry! :oops:Suffolk Gazette is a spoof news (fake news) website. This incorrectly went into the wrong forum - Suffolk News instead of Offtopic Chat. I have corrected the feed so it now goes into the right place and had to move 20 or so...

  13. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Norfolk Police Check Dental Records To Id Headless Corpse

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 7, 2017 with 0 replies and 12 views.

    Norfolk Police check dental records to ID headless corpseBy Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent and Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent Norfolk Police will use dental records to help them identify a headless corpse found in woodland near Norwich this week. The body was wrapped in several potato sacks and dumped in what officers describe as a “big hole”. “We’re looking into it,” said Detective Inspector The post Norfolk Police check dental...

  14. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Norfolk Locals Fear Giant Washed-up Pipe Is Sea Monster

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 12, 2017 with 0 replies and 11 views.

    Norfolk locals fear giant washed-up pipe is sea monsterBy Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent Norfolk police have been called in to calm restless locals who believe a huge washed-up pipe is a sea monster. The massive rubber piping came loose while being towed by a ship to Algeria. It ended up on several Norfolk beaches in massive sections up to 480 metres long and The post Norfolk locals fear giant washed-up pipe is sea monster appeared...

  15. ComedySatire

    Suffolk Gazette: Norfolk Country Music Star Glen Spuckler Dies, Aged 54

    by ComedySatire in Offtopic ChatAug 9, 2017 with 0 replies and 11 views.

    Norfolk country music star Glen Spuckler dies, aged 54By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent Country music star Glen Spuckler has died peacefully at his Norfolk ranch at the age of 54, it has been announced. Spuckler, famous for hits such as By the Time I Get to Felixstowe, Scrap Metal Cowboy and Suffolk Nights, was a pioneer of the legendary Norfolk country and western The post Norfolk country music star Glen Spuckler dies, aged 54 appeared...

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